ASTON INCORPORATED
The Entrepreneurs Pursuit of Personal Expansion, Tactical Success, Limitless Mindset, Manifesting the Impossible and making Legacy Impact on Humanity.
ASTON INCORPORATED
Episode 12- Lead with Love: Unleashing Team Potential Through Compassion and Respect
Could the secret to unparalleled team performance lie in the heart, not just the mind? Join us as we, Wayne and Dalin Aston, tackle a leadership approach that’s as unconventional as it is powerful - leading with love. Our journey through the worlds of military precision, athletic triumph, and entrepreneurial spirit reveals how a pinch of compassion can yield a heap of loyalty. We aren't shy about sharing stories from my time as a Marine Corps machine gunner, state championship football player, and now a devoted resort developer. Discover how simple acts of empathy and genuine concern for those around us can revolutionize the culture of traditionally stoic sectors.
Don't let the word 'love' in leadership catch you off-guard; we're here to show you how it's done. Reflect with us on the profound impact of giving generously, irrespective of your financial standing, and why rolling up your sleeves alongside your team can cement a culture of mutual respect and dedication. Above all, we debunk the myth that success requires sacrifice of family time or personal well-being. Explore with us and our guest how an abundant mindset can enrich not just your business, but every aspect of your life. So, if you're ready to reshape your understanding of leadership and success, this conversation is an essential listen.
Welcome back to the show guys.
Speaker 1:It's Aston Incorporated. I'm Wayne Aston, your host. Here's my co-host, dalin Aston. Appreciate him joining me. As always ready to get some. We've got a good episode for you guys today. Last last episode, we introduced our Universal principal series. Hopefully you guys enjoyed that. We've got another one of those for you today. We're excited to get into.
Speaker 2:So this is, this is gonna be heavily.
Speaker 1:This is an extension of experience, economy. This is an extension of just the way that we think and Philosophy, and so I want to kick this one off with this. This next universal principle, which is lead with love. Okay, speaking as the Marine Corps machine gunner for a minute and coming from you know, playing on a state championship football team and doing some hard things right, working in the construction industry for a decade, even even you know my, my, my current passion and vocational expertise as a resort developer, you know, typically speaking, love is not part of the conversation. Love is just not part of the conversation.
Speaker 1:We're, you know, we're really. We're really focused on results. We're really focused on getting the job done, the mission right. All of these and then those are important things. Those are important things. What I, what I'd like to have the listeners consider with this universal principle, is how can something like love, specifically leading with love, or leading by an example With love, how can that, how can that apply to some of these spaces like the construction industry, the military, the factory, you know, airbnb, business, like all of that, and I believe there's an application for all of it. I'd love to grab your take on that as we kick this episode off.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, my first thought is it's a little Kind of like you said, it's a little unorthodox. I feel like to be talking about this In this kind of a show, right, it's like, well, we're talking about building a business, why are we talking about love?
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah, not church.
Speaker 2:We're not church, right. But I would go as far as a challenge why would we talk about building business if we're not gonna talk about love? And this is, this is interesting because when you Talk about providing value for people, you talk about providing value for employees and you know Guests and all the above, all the above, investors, everyone. When, when someone can tell that you genuinely care, they're so much more inclined to if it's a customer standpoint.
Speaker 2:Not only buy it from you, but return and support the brand if they're in point to perform better, if they're a partner to Contribute more, they're an investor to grow, to give you more. I mean, there's so many applications here, but it all stems from and I think no one will say it, but it's clear in every scenario where these things are evident, there's love. I Someone can feel, oh man, yeah, this person actually cares. That's really what it means. This person actually cares. And I feel like the amount of times I have, you know, bought something from a company and felt like they actually care about me and I actually went back and bought more.
Speaker 1:It's I do it a lot.
Speaker 2:But if I feel like a company doesn't care or that they Neglect me and this is from a customer standpoint and also an employee standpoint I am super inclined to just either not contribute and this is completely vulnerable for me Like if I am. If I have a job and my employers treat me like I am Just another number, how motivated am I to to perform at the best on ability? Your own personal man, I'm gonna dominate whatever I do, is the only thing. But that gets hard. When people don't care about you, when you're an employee right, you're working as hard as you can be possible and there's just no, I mean you're not getting anything it gets easy to start resenting, it's easy to put in very little work. So I think it's just a matter of man. It inspires Performance and goodness and results all around love does that so?
Speaker 1:let's drop a couple examples here, interesting one that kind of is still on my mind, fresh on my mind, from maybe five or six episodes ago. You're talking to a buddy, you're telling about buying these properties in my mom.
Speaker 2:He's like oh, why would you do?
Speaker 1:that man. I mean why don't you just lease them, that's insane.
Speaker 2:In regard to the nightly rental model yeah, yeah he was.
Speaker 1:He was questioning your nightly rental model. So right, so Give the response like what's the appropriate response to that, because I know the knee jerk like the ego mind wants to say Go shove that you know where. Hey shut the hell up, shut up, what do?
Speaker 2:you know, yeah, I mean, there's a hundred you don't know anything, you know, what? Do you? Have you ever done this? Don't think so. Walk away. You know, see, but those are the natural man.
Speaker 1:That's the ego driven response. I'm getting to the core of right. Why lead with love is critical, yeah, for true and and lasting success. So so if you risk, you take that naysayer. He's just With no perspective, totally ignorant. He's just sitting there, yeah you know, poop wing on your parade. How do you respond to that? What's the appropriate lead? With love, you know. Response.
Speaker 2:Well, you know, thinking back, I believe my response was well, you know, from my own careful research and everything, I've just decided, this is the best course because it allows me to get, you know, more revenues. I mean it, it's literally a matter of you know, what are you trying to accomplish right? And, looking back, I can explain this my best ability. You know, I didn't get into weeds because he wasn't asking.
Speaker 2:I just said well, it's just, you know from my research, I thought it was the best right. And you know he looked at me. He's like, okay, well, you know, and if I were to elongate on that conversation, how that went, you know it turned into him later, at a different time, asking me Okay, so you know, how did you do that? You know, so it becomes, instead of me just shutting him down saying you're an idiot, yeah, it was me saying, well, you know, this is I did it because I thought it was the best course of action because of this, this and this, yeah, because of this research, because of this, whoa right. Instead of pointing out that he was wrong and I think that opened his mind to oh, maybe there are other ways to do this. Yeah, you know, and I think there are countless ways to go about the scenario. Looking back, I probably could have said well, you know, why do you think it's? You know, I could have turned on him and said, well, why do you think it's wrong?
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, and I picked this way a little bit, but I think, at the end of the day, the the worst thing you could do is use the ego like that's the opposite of what we're talking about here. Yeah, the ego telling you oh man, this guy's a stupid Idiot who doesn't know what he's talking about. Yeah, that is the wrong approach.
Speaker 1:I mean, that's probably the more common approach you know you get offended your ego gets offended.
Speaker 2:Well, I remember I was ideas getting offended and I'll be honest questioning your, your intelligence. I was bothered questioning your wrist like oh your reckless, well, and I was like, who is this guy to be telling me, have you ever? Has he ever done this before? No, yeah, I'm sitting here for having these thoughts, right, yeah, and it could have been easy for me to just destroy. Destroy, that is way of thinking, right, but in but that's not. And me even saying that is probably ignorant and priceless.
Speaker 2:You know, so I guess what I'm trying to say is, instead of just saying you know, I'm right and you're wrong, maybe there was an opportunity to say, hey well, why do you think that? And then open the conversation. Maybe there is an opportunity, if he really didn't know what he's talking about, to help provide some impact and some insight so that he could understand, you know, and not to say that I have all the answers.
Speaker 1:Well that right. There is where I'm trying to kind of guide this, which is, the more successful you get, the harder it is to be humble, the harder it is to stay humble, and it's been my experience that when I've not been humble and I've let arrogance and ego dictate, it obviously is damaging to the relationships that I care about, but at the end of the day it's the most damaging to myself, right? And so you know this is a self-love conversation too, if I respond to your buddy and I say, man, I really appreciate you caring about me so much that you would share all this concern, man.
Speaker 2:I mean this is legit Like thank you.
Speaker 1:What do you think he would have done? Like it doesn't even matter what he might do, I guarantee it would be a positive response.
Speaker 1:It'd be like wow that's interesting, but for yourself, like you'd walk away from that conversation feeling elevated, like knowing that you increase love to someone attacking you and that's pretty satisfying. One way or another, whether anything long-term comes up or not, you know, it's just so. There's a lot of focus. Guys, I just have you all consider that self-love is a really critical piece of being an entrepreneur. Okay, you must have confidence, but it's really helpful to always maintain this idea that I'm not the smartest guy in the room. I have some great ideas, but I'm open to feedback.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I just want to surround myself with people who know more than me and I welcome it. If you want to punch holes in happiness like I'm selling you the idea, I'm telling you why this is a great idea. But I value your critical thinking so much because it says that you care about my success. Potentially, some people are not. You know they're not intending that when they just want to be an A-sayer and they just want to be negative and toxic. But I think there are a number of people that'll share these concerns out of genuine, authentic concern for you or for me. You know speaking for myself. And so, guys, as you expand your businesses, be humble and maintain this attitude.
Speaker 1:This is a transition into a conversation of the power of contrast in scarcity and abundance, the mentality of scarcity versus abundance, and this is also a really, really big thing in my life. You know, I've come to understand that being in a scarcity mentality means that I'm driven by fear and anxiety and a negative energy. If I'm programming myself to be and operate from an abundant mentality, then it's operating out of a space of love, compassion, faith and hope. And hope. Right, hope isn't a strategy, but you know, I mean, a farmer plants a seed with faith and hope that it will rain and then the crop will grow right. Once the crop starts to grow, you know the crop's gonna grow.
Speaker 1:So there's ways, there's practical application for all of this right, and you guys will all go to lunches, okay, and I try to avoid lunches at all costs these days. I used to go to so many lunches In the early days. Everyone wanted to go to lunch and I couldn't stand whenever I'd be the one footing the whole bill. Everyone would invite me to lunch, but then I would pay. I just kind of feel like I wanna be the you know, the abundant guy, so I'm gonna just pay for the whole lunch.
Speaker 1:You know tipping tipping is an interesting one. You know my brother's a server and you know I know many people who work in the restaurant industry and what an underappreciated field to be in. You know not experiencing a lot of love. And it comes down to the. You know who's a good tipper because they're an abundant mind and who's that cheeks gate who won't tip five bucks, right. And guys, I'd have you think seriously on this that, as you're starting a business, there's no better time to cultivate an abundant mindset when you have nothing. Yeah, okay, you think it's easier when you have millions of dollars in the bank to be abundant.
Speaker 2:Oh, when I have millions of dollars in the bank, I'm gonna be abundant.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna donate to charity, no it doesn't work that way.
Speaker 2:If you're not doing it now, you're not gonna do it then that's right.
Speaker 1:You must condition your mind and your heart today with nothing. And so, okay, you don't have money to give away. You can tip five bucks. You can tip 20 bucks. You can tip the gal at Starbucks, you can. I don't even think it has to be any tips.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it doesn't have to be money, it's not even the tip thing, it's just you know what do you have that you can do? It's not this thing. Oh, I would if I could. Yeah, See, that is the recipe for never doing it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I would, if I could so time. So to give time, I would say everyone has time.
Speaker 2:And there's something to do with effort. You know what can you do, and I think it's a matter of transitioning your thought from oh, I can't do that now to well, how can I do that?
Speaker 1:now, Dude, it's so tempting guys and I'll be a little vulnerable. I'll admit that yesterday was Father's Day and my most valued thing is to have time with my kids, to have my kids come over and visit. But there's a nagging in the back of my head like I've got all this work I gotta do. It's not like I gotta do it, I wanna do it. I have a lot of work it's piled up. I really wanna get to it. And so, consciously and being aware and not giving into that temptation of putting work as a priority over family time, that equates to the effort you're talking about. Yeah, you know, I mean we had an awesome weekend. We had Devon over, had Sierra over, I mean it was really. We really packed a lot into the weekend and it was so satisfying for me to just like resist the temptation. And then I ended up working really late last night, you know, After everybody had left. I got in. I got some work time on a Sunday night, yeah, but you could say, oh, I'll have time when I'm successful.
Speaker 2:What does that even mean?
Speaker 1:That happens all the time, that is dangerous and that was me man, when I told you about the days you know building a tile business, I would rationalize that I'd be like, well, I've just got to grind right now. I've got to kind of sacrifice.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna grind right now and I gotta get it done so that someday Well, and you know what's interesting, we're gonna talk about this, I think, in a later episode, but a lot of gurus and a lot of people will tell you yeah, you know, wake up at 4 am and just eliminate all distractions, like just work really, really, really hard for a while and then later it'll all be good, and I believe that that's true, okay, but I do not believe that you put on giving and put off. You know family and relationships. With that intent, oh man, I just have to hustle and just forget everyone for the next couple of years, in a couple of years, when you've made it and you have no family, no friends, can you push them all away? What's it? Are you really successful? That's the question I would ask.
Speaker 1:So I think that's a key, so that kind of flies in the face of some of our you know our favorite podcasters and you know characters out there because you know everyone's got strong opinions about the morning routine or about the sacrifice for the next two years and all of it.
Speaker 2:Well, I agree with it, I agree with the morning routine, I agree with these things, and if you're gonna wake up at 4 am, then just make sure you're getting good sleep. Maybe, you're gonna sacrifice your social life at night, but going to bed at midnight and then waking up at 4 am, that's not sustainable. You're gonna burn yourself.
Speaker 1:That's a self love equation, so it was back to that, yeah if you're gonna wake up before, great like that.
Speaker 2:I love waking up early, I'm a morning person. Yeah, I'll wake up early, yeah, but but it you know, if you start getting four hours of sleep at night and then you're when you hit 3 pm and you're about to die because you're so tired, I feel like, anyway, we're getting off it off the back here.
Speaker 1:But you see what I'm trying to say. Yep, yep, you know I go back to an experience just last summer and Talking about back to lead with love and had a very, very interesting few opportunities. You know we were building up the, the housekeeping and staging staff at sage Creek and you know we brought on one of our favorite characters, you know Dan, he's our, he's our property management, our operations manager, guy down there, 38 years, you know, in the military and just he is as good as they get, as loyal, as committed a guy as you could find. And One of one of the ways that I think we bonded so well was because there were multiple times that summer where we encountered More cleans required than we had housekeepers, mm-hmm, and I would just jump in and go start cleaning units, cleaning the toilets, cleaning the showers, kitchen, knocking units out right beside them and they saw that and they commented on that many times like man, I just can't even believe.
Speaker 1:Like you were, like you busted through those and I was like, well, yeah, I mean it's, it is the priority. I'm not above the work, right? I'm not above. I'm not gonna ever ask you to do something I won't do. That's important personally. Yeah, that comes from the Marine Corps. You know, I think I learned that first in the Marine Corps. You know, always, always be willing to do and be out in the front, lead from the front, lead with love, by being the person willing to do anything, willing to do more than than anyone. You're asking to do something.
Speaker 1:Yeah so that was a powerful way of Application value to have my workforce like see that I'm not just a talking shirt, I actually roll my damn sleeves up and go to work. Cleaning toilets. Doesn't scare me, and I joke about that in board meetings. You know, hey, what do you do? Well, you know, I mean, I'm a developer and I clean toilets quite a bit. Yeah, it's funny, right, but it's true, it's true, and and that's just to say that nothing's beneath me.
Speaker 1:So I think, as a business owner who's willing, who's willing to do whatever it takes, there's not a task in the whole stack of tasks that's beneath me. So I can't go hire someone to come do this thing that I don't want to do. So there's a piece of, there's a piece of philosophy for everyone. Think, you know, thinking about starting business. As long as you're willing to do every function of the business and Learn it inside and out and be proficient with it. Where you know whether you have opportunity to do that, like cleaning units, that that's a great you know example Then do it. You know, be right out there, be willing to do some hard work, abundance versus scarcity. Where's another area in your life where you've you've experienced family or friends, and how this scarcity mentality has showed up, negatively impacting Some situations.
Speaker 2:There are tons of examples. You know it's hard to mirror down. I mean I've I've had friends who you know that are just super, super concerned with every dime and every penny. And you know and I'm not saying being frugal is bad, I'm frugal is actually very, very important. I believe that you know you want to respect money and money will respect you kind of type of thing.
Speaker 2:But but man there is a thing that it just baffles my mind, you know when, when you know a tipping thing is an easy example, but I think it can be extended to a lot of different avenues. And you think about my instant Right thought is Tony Robbins money master the game. It that book, if you haven't read it, is super, super good. That really paints the picture of what we're talking about here. You, you hear money master the game and my first thought of what that book was gonna be out about was very different than what it actually was about. Right, you read that and and the the real focus of that book was, you know how can you give?
Speaker 2:And I think that's the biggest distinction here in between a scarce Mindset and an abundant mindset is the focus and the necessity to save versus. Oh, I believe that in giving I will also receive. And you know I could give specific examples, but I don't know if that's super necessary in the sense that, hey look, just everyone has their own examples of this experience, in this in your life, where you see the difference, the stark contrast of someone who is so focused on saving that they completely miss the point. Oh man, I need to save, I need to prepare, I need to, but all this stuff and they're so concerned about every single penny that, over however many years, they save up 30 grand and they're like, okay, you know, but then you have another side of it where if your focus is on providing value, on giving, then you're making so much more.
Speaker 1:I mean, and I gotta know about the money, so an interesting takeaway from that is give without an expectation, yeah, yeah, so you have to train yourself to do that. Yeah, if you're giving just with this expectation of the strings attached, you're gonna get something from it.
Speaker 2:That's a hard life. My counteract, you might be disappointed often. Yeah, yeah, You're gonna go about, ooh yeah that's dangerous.
Speaker 1:Well, I just have you consider that if you're able to program your mind and your heart to be able to give without expectation, that's really more for you, right, when I give I feel really good, yeah, and I recognize that it makes me feel good Like in my soul.
Speaker 2:I feel good when I give, so yeah Well and Tony Robbins talks about that in my next game how you just set aside some cash to do that and you'll start to see or time, or time.
Speaker 1:Time, man. If I get out to do an interview here or help with this sales call there, I'm like absolutely. How are you doing 30 minutes?
Speaker 2:sure, how can I help? Yeah, what are you able to give?
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's a cool feeling.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Awesome guys. Well, we don't need to beleaguers the matter here. We've covered the third universal principle in our universal principle series. Hope you guys got some value out of it. Love doing the show. We hope you guys are enjoying it. We hope you'll tune into the next episode and then for now we're out.